Beauty and the Bucs

*Originally printed in The Dickinsonian

Call it what you want. Optimistic? Certainly. Naïve? Probably. Yet I believe this could be the year the Pittsburgh Pirates finally go .500. It’s been 18 long, trying seasons since the Bucs were last able to perform the daunting task of winning as many games as they lose. They have become something of a laughingstock throughout the sports world and, according to analysts across the country, their losing won’t be ending anytime soon. Despite the negativity, I know this could be the Pirates’ year. And, frankly, I don’t think I’m alone.

Small pockets of snow and ice still dot Morgan Field, but there is no doubt about it: spring is not too far away. And while the temperature rises and those pockets slowly dissolve, I am left thinking about one thing: the imminent arrival of the 2011 season of Major League Baseball. Pitchers and catchers officially reported to their respective ballclub’s spring camp earlier this week, and although no meaningful pitches have been thrown and no swings have been taken, that annual optimism abounds for all 30 teams and their fans, Pittsburgh Pirates included.

Despite the best efforts of the Baseball Tonight crew and their preseason predictions, nothing can crush the hopes of the fans of the annual division bottom dwellers. No sabermetrics or Vegas odds makers can derail the enthusiasm that surrounds each team. And that’s what makes baseball so special. As the sights of snow and ice on the ground begin to disappear, so, too, do the painful memories of last season. The Texas Rangers and Atlanta Braves saw their 2010 campaigns end in heartbreak, but hopefully they finished their grieving over the last couple months, because now none of that matters. The Chicago Cubs have not won a World Series since 1908, but who’s to say those pitchers and catchers that just reported to camp didn’t bring with them the tools and talent to make this the season that breaks the curse? For these next few weeks, avid followers of the Kansas City Royals and Cleveland Indians have every right to talk up their team because, for the moment, those ballclubs are undefeated. As winter winds down, each team can look ahead to this season and know that they alone control their own destiny, that the division is in fact theirs to lose. Maybe Punxsutawney Phil really did see his shadow this year, but wanted an early spring simply because the man’s a baseball fan and couldn’t contain his excitement any longer.

It’s a long season, however, for every team, and it takes more than just optimism and enthusiasm to get past the 162 obstacles they will face. But the great thing about America’s Pastime is that it doesn’t matter if you are the defending champion or have not been a winning team in 18 years, you still have to get past the same number of obstacles. Every slate has been wiped clean, and no matter the number of superstars on each roster or the past championships each team has to be proud of, every club still starts out at 0-0.

So as spring training gets under way and Opening Day comes closer and closer, that familiar sense of excitement and optimism arrives on cue. Yes, it’s the same sense of anticipation I’ve felt the past 18, painful years. But the fact that I still get this feeling each and every season? Now that’s the beauty of baseball.

The Town (2010)
- Directed by Ben Affleck
- Starring: Ben Affleck, Jeremy Renner, Rebecca Hall, John Hamm, Blake Lively, Pete Postlethwaite

I hadn’t been to a movie theater in a while and I walked into The Town with high spirits and higher expectations. I had heard good things, and Jeremy Renner can get me to buy a $9 ticket. Twenty minutes into the film it became apparent that there would be predictable scenes at every turn. However, as I stuck with it, I became invested in the characters’ energy and passion. The Town could easily be brushed aside by snobbish reviewers as a montage of heist and chase clichés from films like Heat or The Departed. But it shouldn’t be. The Town puts a new, modern twist on an old story, one that I find exciting and highly entertaining. Why go to the movies if not to be entertained?
Ben Affleck directs and stars as Doug Macray, a rough-and-tumble kid from ‘the neighborhood’ of Charleston, a poor, trashy area of Boston. Accentuating its generally shady reputation, Charleston is also know as a haven for bank robbers who are mostly responsible for the 300 bank robberies a year in Boston. Doug runs a skilled gang of robbers that includes Jeremy Renner as the volatile James Coughlin. Renner gives an impassioned performance as a fiercely territorial badass who has already done time for his defense of his best friend Doug. Rebecca Hall and John Hamm, neither of whom I had ever seen before, both give solid performances. I was pleasantly surprised with Hamm’s character, an FBI agent, who seems hell-bent on bringing the gang to justice, morals and laws be damned. Blake Lively also gives a surprisingly effective performance as Doug’s on-and-off-again girlfriend, proving (to me at least) that she is more than just a Gossip Girl with a pretty face.
The basic plot of the film evolves out of a bank robbery in which Renner kidnaps a bank manager (Claire Keesey: Rebecca Hall). To alleviate James’ fears that she might be able to later identify them Doug begins to tail her and they ultimately end up meeting and falling in love. Naturally, when James discovers the relationship this produces tensions between the two childhood friends. These tensions are only exacerbated when Doug tries to escape his criminal life with Claire, resulting in a showdown between Doug and the Charleston crime boss Fergie Colm, played by Pete Postlethwaite. To be honest, I expected the scenes between Doug and his imprisoned father (played by Chris Cooper) to be the highlights of the movie, but Postlethwaite steals the whole goddamn show. He kills it as Fergie, who fronts as a skinny, aging florist while organizes the gang’s crimes. Postlethwaite, always a legend, radiates authority, confidence, and danger. At one point in the film, Doug, infuriated by Fergie’s refusal to let him out of a job, accompanied by threats on Claire’s life, threatens to kill Fergie. Without pausing his pruning, Fergie calmly tells a story about how he castrated Doug’s father for similar disobedience. While this is my personal favorite scene from the movie, the final half hour of the film is a tension-ridden series of shootouts and twists that will interest any audience.
Buried in all the action and excitement, Affleck cleverly sneaks in a pervading sense of hopelessness. This new age, gritty realism is what saves The Town from being just another bland action movie. Boston-born director Affleck lets the city flood into the movie, allowing the setting to tell a story on its own. At no point are the shootouts more interesting than when the van is weaving through narrow Boston alleys. One can only see so many chase and shootout scenes before they get boring and I felt that Affleck relied on them a bit much. Still, the modern feel of the weapons, body armor, technology, and even the comically frightening nun masks that the gang don give The Town a feeling of, for lack of a better word, believability. I liked the film, and I loved the performances by Hamm, the astounding Renner, and the legendary Postlethwaite. I would put it on par with The Italian Job but not as good as Inside Man or Heat. This is simply a fun movie done right. The action is not over the top, the characters are fresh and raw, and the movie flows well. Simply put, the movie is fun and entertaining, which is all I wanted it to be.

Score out of 10: 7.3

Finally A Post!!!!!

I know. I'm as shocked as you are. When Nate and I decided to create a blog together whenever it was, I expected things to take off quickly. Then I remembered how lazy I was. Then I remembered how lazy Nate was. Things didn't look promising. It took us like two months just to show enough effort to meet in the library for three hours to make the damn thing. I mean we've made Sherman on Sports looks like the fucking Catcher in the Rye. Anyways, it's time Grefe and I sacked up.

-side note-
At least two of those three hours were spent trying to find a URL that wasn't gobbled up by some lazy shit who thought it'd be fun to make a blog then never make a single post (sound familiar?). So if our blog ever looks horrible (which it will/does), know that we're better than these assholes:
http://legends.blogspot.com/
http://legendary.blogspot.com/
http://legendarywords.blogspot.com/

Ok, now on to the main point. Somehow finding time between the pounding of Tenders at lunch on Friday, a beautiful, wonderful, terrifying idea was born. A 16-man, 5 day, Mario Party tournament. The set up will basically look like a watered down World Cup, with 4 groups of 4 players. Each group will play a game of Mario Party next week with the winner of each group moving into a final, winner-take-all championship game for all of the world to see. If all the fun of Mario Party isn't ruined forever by this tourney, then I'll be seriously disappointed. In preparation I've decided to rank my top 5 favorite Mario Party mini-games (because the tournament is Mario Party 2, I've limited my selections to Mario Party 2 mini-games):

5. Bobsled Run
-Personally, I love the 2 vs 2 games. Mainly, because if you lose you can just blame your j-bro teammate. And Bobsled Run is perhaps the best 2 vs 2 game. It takes both skill and strategy to not only outsled your teammate, but to make it to the finish line intact. A victory in Bobsled Run means so much more than the 10 coins you win.
4. Bumper Balls
-A hilarious name and a Mario Party classac (hehe). The Mario Party 2 version of the game is also great because you're on ice, adding another layer of difficulty to an already challenging game. This game would rank a lot higher, however, if it didn't result in so many damn draws.
3.Day at the Races
-This game takes absolutely no skill, but is somehow ridiculously fun. All you do is pick a character (Boo, Bobomb, Thwomp, or that Blue Block) and cheer them on in a race against the other characters. Because the game requires you to do nothing, you can focus all your energy on cheeering/heckling your racer.
2. Face Lift
-Another Mario Party classic, this game requires a unique blend of precision, speed, and creativity. Proving that you have more of those attributes than your opponents can really give you the motivation needed for a late game run.
1. Bowser's Big Blast
-Another game that takes no skill, but by far the most exciting game on Mario Party. I've seen this mini-game go on for double-digit rounds, and because it's a battle mini-game, you can reel in some serious coins with a victory.

That's about it. The tournament starts tonight with Mittens, Zach, Shaman, and the Wheel on the sticks. Let's go.